I hate to be the killjoy at your weekly wine soiree, but you might want to rethink that Pinot Noir refill. Researchers are now unveiling a brutal truth - swigging down the devil's nectar, even in moderation, paves the way for a road-trip towards brain lesions and dementia. Even your beloved eight mimosas counting as a 'balanced breakfast' won’t make the cut.

The valiant science vigilantes from the University of Sao Paulo Medical School descended upon this disheartening discovery while casing an impressive crowd of 1,700 exhumed brains (grim business, this science). During the macabre investigation, the flicker of abnormal protein deposits, ominously termed 'tau tangles,' and a narrowing of small blood vessels in the brain showed themselves as likely accomplices to our liquid misstep.

And before you gleefully raise your 'seventh' glass in honor of dodging the 8-drink-per-week curse, hold up. Even the moderate drinker federation isn't exactly off the hook, with at least 60 percent more chance of acquiring brain lesions compared to the teetotaling league.

Here's another brain-buster in the mix: this study reveals that heavy drinkers are less likely to suffer from hypertension and strokes, a statement that could have easily been born in the Upside-Down. Alas, it's science - heavy drinkers, on average, are kissing the world goodbye roughly 13 years earlier than nondrinkers. Meaning, many don't stick around long enough for hypertension or strokes to join the party.

Now, let's hold our liquor-laden horses to scrutinize America's alcohol landscape. While this study’s bar for heavy drinking holds at eight drinks and above per week, our dear National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism has slightly tweaked the standards: "more than 8 drinks per week for women and more than 15 drinks per week for men." An alarming snippet of trivia - the top 10 percent of American guzzlers have a staggering average of 74 drinks per week. We simply can't dismiss the potential health impact that such colossal libation could incite.

Moving on, the study does have a slight 'hiccup.' The life-story of the dearly departed was gathered via their loved ones, which naturally invites a probability of exaggerated, underplayed, or plain inaccurate accounts. Still, the association between alcohol and cognitive necrosis is quite tangible.

In Brightside Boulevard, Christopher Kahler, Ph.D., from Brown University’s Center for Alcohol and Addiction Studies, points out that checking our drinking habits can significantly lower health risks. So, if you're keen on preserving your grays, here’s the deal - alternate between your drink and a mocktail, tap brakes before your next glass, and know when it’s time to call rehab. Remember, it's okay to wrestle with the bottle once in a while; it's just not okay to lose.