So, you've got a cold. This is the part where we grant you permission to curse and wallow in self-pity for a moment or two. But only a moment – because life goes on, and your Netflix queue isn't going to watch itself.

All sarcasm aside, colds are a pain. Despite their despised rank on the life experience ladder (slightly higher than stepping on legos barefoot, definitely lower than tax season), curing them still remains as elusive as finding a comfortable pair of high heels. There's no magic bullet. Sure, rest, chicken soup, and over-the-counter meds might take the edge off, but they're more placebo than panacea.

Staying hydrated is key though. Glug down water, tea, juice like it's your job. If your urine could pass for a light chardonnay, you're making progress. Love strawberries and cucumbers? Even better – they're high in water content.

Get some sleep. Plenty of it. An under-rested body is like a house party without a bouncer - an open invite for nasty viruses to come and trash the place. Sleep gives your immune system a chance to fight back.

And those sketchy dietary supplement aisles hawking zinc to speed up recovery? With dubious regulation, it’s a wild west out there. You're better off doing your research and looking for products verified by reputable organizations. Consult with a know-it-all doc, nutritionist or pharmacist before committing to anything.

In the face of this viral onslaught, be prepared to get creative. Salt your water and gargle your discomfort away, get intimate with your humidifier, breathe in steam (carefully – we don't endorse self-scalding) to combat congestion. Keep the tissues to hand too; your commute home might resemble a homage to Niagara Falls.

Pine for pain relief? OTC medications such as ibuprofen and acetaminophen could be your new best buddies, but be cautious – overuse can have serious consequences for your liver and kidneys. Coughing like a seal? Try a spoonful of honey (just keep it away from the under-ones – baby botulism isn't part of the plan).

If your symptoms persist for longer than a Friends' Netflix binge, consult a healthcare professional. And remember: clinginess is not cute. Stay home, avoid close contact and wash those hands. The goal isn't to share your misery, it's to bounce back quicker than ever and continue crushing life like the badass you are.

Simple, right? Now go pound that kale and kick this cold to the curb!