Cough? Check. Sore throat? You bet. Fatigue? Oh hell yes. If you've got these symptoms, you could either be hosting a villainous virus or a fiendish flu bug. Both are uninvited guests, and they're about as similar as two peas in an icky pod, including recovery stages. Lay outcry: "How do we tell them apart without stealing our doctor’s script pad for antiviral drug prescriptions?"

Well, let's kick off the confusion with the basics. Influenza (aka the flu) typically barges in, causing intense symptoms abruptly. The common cold, on the other hand, is more of a sneaky creeper, with symptoms developing gradually. But there’s the rub: not always. This is why diagnosing yourself is as easy as skiing up a mountain.

Whoever said 'no pain, no gain' obviously never dealt with a cold. It's the mildest form of self-torture, with complications usually limited to an infuriating ear infection. The flu, however, doesn't play nice. It can sometimes escalate into severe, even life-threatening complications – especially amongst some vulnerable populations.

In the symptoms showdown, cold symptoms party in your system for about seven to ten days. The flu throws a similar-length shindig, but by day seven, most people start to see the exit sign.

For transmission: both common cold and influenza are into viral networking, spreading via droplets from the cough-and-sneeze brigade and through direct contact with infected snot (gross, but true). But remember: while both are respiratory viruses, their 'infection style' varies.

The common cold is a social butterfly, caused by one of over 200 respiratory viruses. These viruses latch onto your nasal passageways like clingy exes causing inflammation and giving you symptoms like a runny nose and sore throat. As things progress, you can expect an invite to the coughing, sneezing, and stuffiness party.

The flu, on the other hand, is a trachea freak, attaching to organ receptors in your windpipe and the twin airways of your lungs. Think of inflammation mixed with actual damage to your respiratory tissues as the flu spreads like a wildfire.

Diagnosis differs for both. The common cold gets diagnosed based on your symptoms and a physical showdown. In contrast, doctors can often diagnose the flu based on the initial symptoms alone but may also run a rapid test.

For treatment: easier said than done, but the only true "cure" for both is just to wait it out. No magic pill can fully rid you of these viruses. Your immune system is the unsung hero, eventually putting a lid on it. But in fairness, antiviral drugs can chip in and help shorten your flu’s span if kicked off within the symptom appearance's first 48 hours. No such luck for the cold, though.

Prevention is primarily about keeping things clean and people at a distance. And of course, the flu vaccination provides additional security, much like a bouncer at a club keeping rowdy viruses out.

Self-treatment comes in forms of ample rest, steamy soup sessions, and over-the-counter meds for symptomatic relief. But don't hesitate to summon a healthcare provider if your symptoms become worsen or become more severe.

To wrap it up: Both cold and flu are from the unlovable virus family and deliver an unpleasant experience. A cold tends to be gentler and develops slowly. In contrast, the flu is more of a blatant, fever-inducing bully. Both have no specific tests or antivirals, but vaccines and rapid tests can sack the flu. However, if your symptoms persist or you need direction, always consider looping in a healthcare professional.

Remember, keeping it real starts with understanding what's going on in your body, so next time you're under the weather, you'll know whether it's Cold 'old Joe or 'flu punk Frank squatting in your system. Let's keep them both at bay like the health-conscious, savvy troopers we are.