Got a mouthful of teeth? Excellent, here's some wisdom to chew on: not all dental floss is created equal. We decided to take on this gritty task of examining 28 varieties of floss in a total of 56 hours of real-life, spit-and-all testing to serve you nothing but the finest options.

Shredding is the floss-foe, and the Cocofloss Delicious Mint Dental Floss is the knight in shining armor. Its grippy, spongy texture stands high and mighty, eliminating every hiding particle from your teeth-bearing fortress. However, for those of you harboring a close-knit community, you might find it a bit hefty.

Those who value eco-conscious picks should consider the Smartlifeco Biodegradable Dental Floss Picks. No guilt trips here, as they're made from compostable straw wheat material, and they're on par with your standard floss in terms of its tooth warrior prowess. Nonetheless, don't expect to experience a strong minty flavor, despite what the packaging suggests.

If you're reaching out for a picker type, the Humble Co Plant-Based Floss Picks Grip Handle might just be the one. Designed for easy maneuverability, this thin and lightweight floss does its job thoroughly. Longevity, however, isn't its strongest suit, and you'll need to ditch it after each drainage battle.

For those of you sporting braces or permanent retainers, you'll find a trusty companion in pre-cut floss. It has a rigid tip, allowing you to navigate through your oral hardware quickly. The downside? Its thin threads might not attract as much debris in just a single pass.

Tom’s of Maine's floss can deal with your plaque predicament while catering to your sensitive gums. Durable, non-shredding, but not quite thin enough for really tight teeth - it's a solid option for those looking for gentleness over all-around efficiency.

For your kiddos, the Grin Kids Biodegradable Dental Flossers guarantee sturdy, seamless sliding between the tiny teeth, winning kudos for their small, easy-grip design. However, don't be surprised if the colors in the canister diverge from what you see on the packaging.

Lastly, if you are willing to splurge a bit, the Risewell Floss might be your ally. Its composition includes vegan wax and hydroxyapatite - a fantastic formula that doesn't compromise on safety or effectiveness. The slightly steep price, however, might be a make-or-break factor for some.

Remember, folks, dental hygiene isn't just about flaunting a Colgate smile; it's a crucial chore to maintain overall health. So, while flossing might not feel like the most exciting part of your routine, choose wisely and remember, there's no gain without a bit of pain. And by pain, we mean dealing with floss. In case we didn't harp on it enough: floss, people. Floss.