Ergogenic aids, colloquially known as muscle chow, promise beefed-up bodies, faster performance, and a mean timepiece in the battle against old age. Among these, collagen stands out as a potential joint guardian and a post-workout MVP. However, their notoriety in the athletic realm doesn't make them personal trainers in a pill.

While the 'Incredible Hulk in a bottle' type supplements, like DHEA and creatine, come with their own unsolicited side effects (think hormone rollercoasters and water balloon bodies), it's always smart to make an appointment with Doc before attempting Operation Swole. Plus, remember that Uncle Sam's Food and Drug babysitter doesn't exactly keep a hawk-eye on these supplements. The long and short of it is: you could be battling a monster-sized placebo effect.

Adding to that, it's crucial to understand that while protein supplements can play a role in muscle burlesque, their effervescence is more significant in those who are already seasoned weightlifters. Pop popular proteins like whey, casein, or your soyboy alternatives only after you've clocked in your workout hours. Optimal protein intake varies but athletes might need up to around 1kg per body weight (g/kg) of protein.

Interestingly, age discrimination is a thing here. Grams-for-grams, gramps and grannies might need more protein than their younger counterparts for similar effects. Furthermore, protein pop-tarts work best when taken in mini-batches across the day versus all in one go.

Some diet decoys have been blacklisted by sports authorities (IOC, NCAA, WADA) including OTC Jack-the-Rippers like blackbush acacia, bitter orange, germanium extract, and, (plot twist) our old friend, DHEA. Akin to a sugar pill stacked on juice, the scientific community didn't find any robust evidence that DHEA ups muscle strength or mass. Though DHEA might help with fat trimming, it doesn't guarantee weight change or BMI adjustments.

Other key players in the muscle game include HMB and creatine, both contributing to muscle building and strength, especially in combination with the right workouts. However, beware of the side acts like water retention and weight gain that might come with the creatine curtain call. Similarly, PUFAs are believed to increase muscle mass but data primarily comes from individuals with related conditions like sarcopenia, cancer, or COPD.

Looking further into the protein cocktail, collagen, the most abundant protein in the human body, and a go-to beauty supplement, falls short in the muscle department. However, it might play a role in joint health and recovery.

Moving on, CoQ10, an energy mogul of the body, is thought to be involved in muscle recovery, while leucine, a key amino acid for muscle protein, offers debatable results in muscle gains.

To summarize, the world of muscle-buffing supplements is as clear as a protein shake gone wrong. Before replacing your steak with powders and popping pills, summon your healthcare provider to decode the best way to bulk up for you. And remember, these prescription imposters aren't supervised by the FDA for safety or effectiveness. Be a smart consumer and look for products tested by reliable third parties. Always balance gain and grapple before signing up for the gym-rat race.